Tonight I was reminded of one of the disciplines of faith...maybe not spelled out explicitly in one or two sentences in the Bible but certainly covered under the umbrella of "love your neighbor". I was snuggling Derek and listening to music as he drifted off to sleep. That's a nighttime ritual in our house, one he's always wanted daddy to do. As we were cuddling my mind started racing ahead to the two blog posts I'm writing tonight. My arms were around him but my thoughts were miles away, searching subjects and penning phrases.
As my tension level about the work I had yet to do started rising I stopped myself. "Hey dummy!" said I, "You have your adorable four-year-old son in your arms. How many years do you think this will go on? You know any sixteen year olds who cuddle with their dads before night-night time? Plus you haven't seen Derek much today. Stop! Be here! Enjoy!" And so I did. I buried my nose in his little shoulder and cuddled. He sighed and put his arm around me. It was a good moment.
In the first session of our current Evangelism Workshop we talked about the Time/Task/Reward treadmill upon which most of us run daily. We're faced by a massive number of tasks each day. We consider a day "successful" if we've completed most of them with acceptable results. The problem here? Everything gets reduced to a task...nothing more. We lose the human, relational element and with it all the love and beauty we're supposed to experience. We live life one step removed, not diving into our day but hovering above it, ticking off each step as if it were an academic test. Exhibit A: Cuddling your precious boy while thinking, "As soon as this is done I need to do this other thing next!" How important is that moment then? How important is the boy in your arms? What does it matter if you spend a generous 15 minutes cuddling but the final message is, "Done with you! Now to the next task!"?
One of the most important steps to living in faith--as opposed to just preaching it or intending to do something about it--is paying attention to the moment you're in. How can you see God working in your world if your eyes are never really on your world?
We make the mistake of looking elsewhere far too often. Have you ever sat and listened to someone talk when the only thing you're thinking is, "Here's what I'm going to say next!" Are you really listening? Are you really together with that person or are they just a prop to give space between your utterances? How many times has dinner in your house been that speed bump between getting home and getting to soccer practice? "Come on! We've got to get this done as quickly as possible because you have to be to the field by 5:30!" How long has it been since you viewed your spouse as a real person instead of as a function? How long has it been since you relaxed in the car instead of driving like the only purpose is your next destination? (That one's near universal. I see plenty of people exceeding the speed limit on Highway 95 when 10mph over only saves them 30 seconds total on their trip.)
Try to discipline yourself today to stay where you are and be with the person in front of you. Time will still move. You won't be with that person forever. In fact you probably won't be with that person a second longer than you would have been otherwise. But you'll enjoy being with that person more and maybe find extra meaning and purpose and beauty in what you're doing. That's the problem with defining the world by tasks and jumping from one to the next. It doesn't save you any time really, but it drains nearly all the life out of your day...or at least all the best parts of life. If you find yourself drifting somewhere else, bring yourself back! Maybe God is putting something important right in front of your eyes. You never know unless you look!
--Pastor Dave (pastordave@geneseelutheranparish.org)
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