Once again this week we had a deep discussion in our Wednesday Morning Bible Study. The topic continues to be Isaiah, this time around Chapter 42 wherein God's wrath and redemption are discussed.
During the course of our conversation the topic of changing societies got brought up. People noted how different the world is today than it was 50, or even 30, years ago. Someone cited a statistic from the paper that a large percentage of children are born outside of marriage these days, that single-parent or unmarried families are becoming the norm.
Naturally the group tossed around the ins and outs of that changing reality, but in the end we tried to figure out what a proper response would be. We found that our feelings had changed on that as well over the years.
Once upon a time the "proper" response of "good" people was to shun and dismiss folks who had violated societal or religious norms. Somebody cited girls (and a couple boys) being dismissed from school back in the day for unexpected pregnancies. Another person mentioned that newborn children of unwed mothers were once kept behind a wall in seclusion and rushed out of the maternity ward as quickly as possible.
In 2012 a few high schools in our local area have day care facilities to assist students with babies. The maternity ward process has changed also. Is this faithful? Was it better the other way?
The first question one needs to ask is whether the shunning worked. I'd argue not. Unexpected pregnancies are as old as the dawn of time. They happened thousands, hundreds, and tens of years ago and still happen today. Rejecting folks who found themselves in this situation only drove them away. It didn't solve the problem, it created another.
One also needs to ask what God's response would be. As we talked about last week, we experience both wrath and comfort from God but the former is always subservient to the latter. Any difficulty or frustration that breaks our relationship with God is merely a prelude to the joy and reconciliation that he chooses as our destiny. That's why he sent his Son to die for us, after all, not that we might be condemned but that we might be saved. It's probably OK to be disturbed when you perceive more and more children being born in situations you consider sub-optimal for them. But that disturbance has to give way to support and love if you really want to reflect God's will.
Too many Christians begin and end with being disturbed and/or complaining. This is exactly where all that harmful shunning and dismissing took root. When we do this, we teach an incorrect story about God, equating God's will with condemnation instead of salvation. It's fine to sigh and even say, "Oh no!" when you find out a 16-year-old is pregnant. That 16-year-old is probably doing the same and more! But after the sigh is exhaled, it's time to get to work and figure out how to support that child and the new child that's coming. That means putting aside the frustration, embracing reconciliation, and figuring out together how to turn this into a gift instead of a tragedy.
We had this exact situation happen in the church I served as youth director long ago. One of our youth group members got pregnant. In that church everybody who had a child got a baby shower. That time, though, there was plenty of debate. "Should the girl get a shower? Wouldn't that be rewarding her and condoning the act? Would other kids then want their own babies?"
That last assertion was a little ridiculous. None of the other kids wanted to be in that girl's shoes no matter how many rattles and little blankies you handed them. But the first two questions were under serious debate. To me the answer was clear, though. Withholding the shower wasn't going to change the circumstance. It would only bring more difficulty into an already turbulent situation, making the girl feel more alone and less supported. I'd advise every young girl and guy NOT to get pregnant. But once a baby is on the way that advice does no good. The situation has changed. The proper response now is to make sure as much good comes out of this as possible for the mother and especially for that baby. That little newborn should not arrive into this world as a problem but as God's gift. In this situation it was up to us to help that change in definition along.
That's exactly what God wants. He doesn't expect that nothing bad will happen. He knows the world is imperfect and so are we. He simply asks us to look at all the circumstances of our lives--those we'd call good and others we'd call bad--as opportunities to make goodness and grace come into the world. That's the message we're supposed to proclaim no matter how the world changes around us. In fact that message eases our mind about the world changing, doesn't it? Those changes don't determine our destiny. Faith in God and the goodness it brings will always have a place.
--Pastor Dave (pastordave@geneseelutheranparish.org)
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