Today we continue our devotional series on the Ten Commandments with an assist from Martin Luther's Small Catechism. The subject of the day is the Fourth Commandment:
Honor your father and your mother.
What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we do not despise or anger our parents and other authorities, but honor them, serve and obey them, love and cherish them.
Click through to figure out how this affects your life in a meaningful way!
The brilliant and shocking phrase in Luther's explanation of this commandment is "and other authorities". Since we were young most of us have been taught to obey our parents. We see parenthood as a blood relation, a state particular to one or two people in our lives. Here Luther frames parenthood in its proper context. Parents are the first, strongest representatives of the universal authority which governs and guides us. Being a parent is more than DNA. It's a relationship meant to convey the power of our Lord which works for goodness in our lives and the life of the world. The phrase "and other authorities" opens the door to this greater relationship, making the parents first among many bearers of God's authority instead of the singular and only ones.
This move both narrows and expands the commandment.
Some have interpreted this commandment to mean "You must do whatever your parents say no matter what it is and never question or deviate or make them angry with you for any reason." Well...what happens if your parents are abusive? What happens when they tell you to do wrong things? What happens when your parents get angry for no apparent reason and take it out on you daily? Is acquiescing to that behavior demanded by this commandment? If so, what about those parents we hear about in the news occasionally who use their children as an aid to shoplifting? Their command would appear to put their kids in an impossible bind: break this commandment or break the one about stealing.
The connection with other--including universal--authority brings this commandment into tight focus. Parents are the representative of God. That does not mean that they are God. Not every word that comes from the lips of every parent is in accordance with this commandment. Parents have a deep responsibility to honor God and to raise their children in a way consistent with his will. God's deepest wish is that all his children receive goodness, life, love, forgiveness, and grace. Parents become the tangible embodiment of those things for their children.
To the extent that parents carry out that sacred duty they must be honored. But it's not the parents as individuals we're honoring, rather the greater authority that comes through them. We all discover at some point that our parents are imperfect. That doesn't mean they're not our parents anymore! The authority of loving relationship supersedes any imperfection on their part or ours. We hold that loving relationship as sacred and binding even when the people who carry it out show occasional blemishes. That's what this commandment is about: hanging on to God through people rather than hanging onto people themselves.
When parents contravene that loving relationship--by being abusive, for instance--then they've abandoned the very heart of their parenthood. In these cases honor and service are not due. They become idolatrous, in fact, attached to a person instead of the greater (good and loving) authority working through that person. The addition of "and other authorities" points us straight towards those things worthy of honor and respect, cementing us to our earthly parents when they are displayed in the parent-child relationship and freeing us from bondage to evil when they are not.
The "other authorities" phrase also opens the door to more than just one or two people being worthy of respect, service, and love. It goes without saying in our day and age that adoptive- and step-parents capably fill good authoritative roles. Our society has taught us that "biological" doesn't always equate to "right and only". This is consistent with the fourth commandment.
The commandment goes even farther, though. Governments, bosses, teachers, pastors, grandparents, civic leaders, coaches...all of these and more can be granted authority in our lives. To the extent that they represent God's message of goodness and grace they, too, are owed service, honor, obedience, and love.
That message is so critical in a time when we are becoming more and more detached from each other and drifting inevitably into bastions where our own authority holds sway. Our economic and cultural progress has left each one of us the freedom to be ultimate authority and arbiter over our lives if we wish. For the most part we don't have to eat anything we don't want to eat, talk to anyone we don't want to talk to, see anything we don't want to see, or go anyplace we don't want to go. Everything is self-guided, self-operated, self-determined. I can talk to you just like this from my basement office without having said one actual word to you. You can choose to click on what I've said or "X" it out and I'll never know the difference. You decide! I decide! We all decide! And most all of us have enough power to enforce our decisions within the sphere of our own lives. It's a rare, and for most of us uncomfortable, occurrence for us to be forced to do something we don't want to. (Remember how painful it was to write that tax check or to be summoned for jury duty?)
From what direction does authority come in this new world? 99% of it is internal. Anything we don't agree with doesn't happen. Store doesn't carry your brand of toothpaste? Find a new store. Friend says something thoughtless? De-friend them on Facebook. Pastor says something you find too radical? Get a new church! The definition of sin in these modern times is "disagreeing with me". If you don't believe me, watch the news or listen to talk radio and hear what happens when people present opposing viewpoints. We want the candidate who thinks like us and represents our views. We want the church that lets us be comfortable and aligns with our understanding of God. We want the love interest who is compatible--neither "good" nor "honorable" nor "trustworthy" but compatible--because otherwise we just won't get along...because we can't imagine being with anyone who doesn't think and act just like us.
The fourth commandment barges in on our self-determined world with a reminder: there's no particular goodness in you that isn't also flawed. You know what happens when you get that companion who's just like you? They usually drive you crazy because you're annoying but you didn't realize how much until you saw yourself in someone else! If all, or even most, of your authority comes from inside yourself then your path will be flawed as well. You need things above you--good things to guide you--so that you can do good despite yourself. The only way to make sure you aren't worshiping yourself above all is to love and serve, honor and obey something beyond yourself. Whether you always agree with that something, whether it comes naturally or with difficulty...these are beside the point. If you never do anything that's hard or disagreeable then you have no authority but you and your own tastes! Other people and institutions become the crucible refining your impurities, leaving behind a purer, more noble person in their wake.
This doesn't mean that every authority should be obeyed without question any more than every parent should. Authorities need to be tested and corrected just as individuals do. That's why wise people follow authorities who are invested in more than just their self-interest and self-perpetuation. Authorities--institutions or people--who reach out in love, service, and honor themselves get refined by this commandment through the same process that individuals do. Authorities only interested in their own internal power go astray just as individuals do. When you find a good, giving authority--imperfect though it may be in some of its expressions--the proper course is to serve, cherish, honor, contribute, and follow in a relationship every bit as deep and complex as the one you have with your parents.
The questions for the day are two:
1. How much energy and focus have you put into being God's representative for the people over whom you have authority? Obviously this could mean your children or subordinates at work, but keep in mind that our society grants us authorities we don't usually think of. When you're standing in the Wal-Mart line with a credit card in your hand and a shopping cart full of stuff, you have a type of authority over the checker who is paid to serve you in that moment. Conversely when you're the checker that a person needs in order to complete his purchases and satisfy his needs and his family's, you have a certain authority there too. Driving a car gives you authority. So does visiting a sick person or being visited by someone. Coming to church, sharing fellowship and God's peace does as well. How are you conducting yourself in all of these relationships? Is your authority full of God's grace, love, and forgiveness? Can other people see him in the way you're exercising your power?
2. What things and/or people in life do you truly follow? What things are above you? Are those things worthy of that place in your life or are they leading you astray? Are the authorities in your life more interested in self-preservation or in bringing goodness and honor to the world? Have you been attempted to abandon otherwise good authority because of a rebellious, self-interested impulse from within? What form did that impulse take and where are your weak spots when it comes to following?
Consider all these Fourth Commandment issues as you walk through your week and see what happens!
--Pastor Dave (pastordave@geneseelutheranparish.org)
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