We talk about serving people but some people are independent and don't want to be helped. How do we serve them?
The best way to answer this question is with a question: Who gets to decide what "serving" is?
When you say "some people are independent and don't want to be helped" you're implying that "serving" means doing something for someone else in a way that doesn't let them participate fully or take ownership of the work. It's almost like saying, "You just sit yourself down there, helpless person, and let me do this for you." Most people aren't going to want to be served like that! And you're right, some people hear exactly that message when we offer to help.
That's why the most important part of serving your neighbor is knowing your neighbor. Many people of faith make the mistake of making service all about completing tasks. This is understandable because service almost always involves some task or other. But service isn't really about tasks, it's about people! When we make service about tasks we're like a Boy Scout trying to complete his merit badge and not letting anybody get in the way of his goal. We're going to help that old lady across the street whether she wants to go or not because darn it, we need to serve her!!! Pulling grandma across the crosswalk isn't really service unless you know her, know she wants to go, and know that she appreciates the hand, right? Otherwise it's just selfishness ("I have to serve and earn my reward!") disguised as service.
Service to our neighbor is just an extension of loving our neighbor. Loving our neighbor means taking the time to get to know them and letting them define how we can serve them. Sometimes that might mean doing something for them while they sit and watch. But sometimes the best service we can give is to affirm that they are independent and strong, to encourage them and cheer them on as they do the things they want and need to do. Saying, "Your lawn looks so nice today!" can be as big of a service as going and raking all of their leaves ourselves. It just depends on the person and what they need.
To tell the difference all you need to remember is this: defining service by tasks makes it all about you and what you have to give, defining service by people makes it about them and what they really need. In the first case they have to shape their lives around you, to accommodate your need to serve and feel good about yourself. In the second case you change your life and your service to reflect them. Service defined by a task doesn't matter much after that task is completed. Service defined by your deep relationship with a person can lift someone's spirit for a lifetime.
--Pastor Dave (pastordave@geneseelutheranparish.org)
No comments:
Post a Comment