Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is almost upon us...one of the prettiest and most meaningful services of the year.  I have a soft spot in my heart for Christmas Eve worship.  It helped set me on the path to where I am today.

I didn't have a bad time growing up.  I was kept safe. I was loved.  We always had a roof over our heads and 2.5 square meals a day.  If we were short on money, us kids seldom knew it.

I did have a bit of a fractured childhood.  My parents were divorced.  Our family had...interesting dynamics.  You weren't sure who you could trust, who was on the ins or outs with somebody this week.  Outwardly we had hugs and smiles aplenty but unguarded affection was rare.

Christmas was one of the immediate casualties of this fracturing.  We had two: mom's and dad's.  Sometimes we had another besides with other family members.  The presents were fun enough but those family undercurrents flowed through them all.  We kids "aged out" of Christmas too, as is natural.  You remember near-ideal Christmases when you were 5 or 6 and then you have the 16- or 17-year-old version.  The latter pales in comparison.  It just isn't the same.

So I remember one Christmas...I think I was 17.  By that time I'd had 5 years of split up Christmases, several rounds of my parents not "getting me" (as is typical for teenagers), and I knew that no present in the world was going to make this Christmas ideal.  What was there?  It was like the most cherished institution of my childhood had become meaningless.  And I needed a cherished institution or two to hold onto, to provide stability or hope.  What a bummer!

Fortunately I had discovered a home away from home in my high school choir, with whom I had recently started singing.  My choir director had taken a job at a downtown church and invited me to come and sing in her choir, to be a "ringer" of sorts.  I'd take the bus down there and she'd usually drive me home.

Christmas Eve came around and naturally we were all singing.  So I went to church, ready for just another service.  Mind you, worship was great there.  The messages made plenty of sense.  The music was excellent.  The people were friendly.  What's not to like?  But I wasn't prepared for the beauty of Christmas Eve in a church.  Candles glowed everywhere.  People sang in harmony, knowing the hymns well.  The sermon talked about unreserved, unending love.  Everything clicked.

And all of a sudden I understood.  I was going to lose some things in life.  Institutions might crumble--family fractured, innocence departed, Christmas de-mystified--but God's love and God's giving would endure.  Hope would endure.  Light would endure.  Beauty could be found in the moments you least expected it, in ways you didn't even look for.

That Christmas Eve message of hope, love, and beauty is important.  You never know who it's going to touch.  I'm glad we get to share it again next Tuesday.  Worship starts at 7:00 p.m. with a musical prelude at 6:45.  See you there!

--Pastor Dave (pastordave@geneseelutheranparish.org)